rawr

Sometimes I get the feeling that my friends are tired of me. Then it really makes me guilty about the fact that I can't help being an asshole. It's something I'm really trying to work on, but it's rather hard. Seriously though, I fully admit to the fact that I'm an asshole. I don't want to be an asshole. Really, I want to be a nice person so much. I want to be the person who everyone thinks isn't evil. I don't want people to nickname me 'The Devil'. Do I need more self control? is that my problem? I think growing up with someone who's only words for you are put downs and negative things does influence your life a lot. My brother is autistic, and mostly his interaction with me as a child is him fighting with me. I know that it's damaged me somehow, and I really hate it. I don't want to be damaged. Is this why people don't like me? Ekk I sound so insecure. I find it really hard to make and keep friends, and I don't want it to be hard to get to know someone. I have to work really hard to make sure that people like me and don't think that I'm a stupid asshole. That image is really something I don't want people to see. Do other people have to work this hard to keep friends? I sincerely hope not. Or else we'd all feel so alone.

Buying Concert Tickets

So today was interesting to say the least. Some of the most awkward conversations ever revolve around friends having problems with their parents. Especially because you know there's nothing you can really do to help. So I listen and I nod and I nod and I listen and that's all that really gets accomplished.

On better news though, I just bought tickets to a Staind concert that's in July. There's also going to be Shinedown and then two other bands I've never heard of xD Yeah so that's what I did instead of French, where I was supposed to be writing a script to a power point presentation. I also have a physics test to study for, though I don't know if I'll get around to that. I dislike physics, because the teacher is cranky most of the time.

My thoughts don't make sense a lot, especially lately because of the lack of sleep I've been getting. Plus the added caffeine I add to the day so that I don't fall asleep in class. I'm going to crash, but hopefully not until this weekend. I've got better things to do until then. Maybe I'll schedule in a crash Saturday during the day. That sounds fun. CRASH

I went power shopping today. I bought a bunch of things for my cousins wedding shower dealie, and it was all on sale and epic cheap. I felt empowered. I also went to play practice, and I felt needed because I brought a ton of costumes. I am also the owner of some awesome paneled sunglasses that glow in the dark. And a green scarf that could be bright enough to glow in the dark.

I also bought a Super Man t shirt, because I'm a SUPERHERO (fer sure)
cheers
Saint Burns

Yes

It's safe to say that this weekend was pretty epic. There were a couple free concerts through a Harvest Crusade dealie, which is a big religious convention. Relient K came through town, and even though their show was only around 20 minutes long, it was totally worth it. The best part is that they were hanging around downtown, where any passerby could find and then proceed to talk with them. Which is exactly what I did ^^ It was only the lead singer Matt and some of the tech crew guys, who were also made of awesome. They all signed my CD, and I pretended not to feel crazy while wearing a plastic red fireman's hat. (There's a bar nearby that's called The Firehouse, Relient K had visited the night before) We then proceeded to walk down something called Art Alley. It's a place where local artists can go and graffiti the walls basically with anything they want (as long as it's not obscene). Though it can be slightly dangerous to walk down at ten thirty at night, because of all the homeless people. That's probably why Matt and company wanted to do it though xD The only bad thing about that day was that I didn't have a camera.